Letters to the World
by BlowMeFire
Summary: I don't know if anyone will read this, or if anyone cares, but maybe there's someone out there, someone like me, who will nod in understanding.
1. The World is a Cruel Place

**The World is a Cruel Place**

You've probably noticed that despite the fact that this is a 'letter', I haven't written "Dear so-and-so" or the date. This is because I don't even know if anyone well ever end up actually reading this, and _I_ don't plan on reading this in a few years to reminisce in my past, because, quite frankly, my past is something I'd rather forget.

The past is written in stone, it's unchangeable, but the future holds many possibilities.

Anyway, my point is, I find the regular headers of a letter a waste of time. We only have so much.

People have always asked me why I am the way I am. Why I'm so weird. This frustrates me because, um, I don't ask_ you_ why _you're _so _normal_. Where's the fun in being just like everybody else?

But alas, I cannot pretend that I was just _born_ 'creepy' and 'evil', as some people have descibed me.

When I began school, I was immediately chosen as a victim of a group of bullies. Everyday they would make fun of what I was wearing, how I did my hair, ect., ect. I tried to stand up to them, I even told on them, but did they stop? Nope. No, they only got worse.

I wasn't happy anymore. I couldn't understand what I did wrong, I wasn't much different from anyone else! I started to hate everyone who was happy and everything that made people happy. I was rebeling against society. You called me weird, I'd give you weird. You called me creepy, I'd give you creepy.

I started telling stories to any kid who'd listen. Stories about horrible murders in great detail, about that old abandoned house in our neighborhood, which I claimed was haunted. I greatly enjoyed coming up with these tales, and thus I discovered my love of storytelling.

One day I told a story about a young girl who killed her entire family with a pair of scissors. When I finished, I grabbed the pair closest to me and snapped them at my audience. They avoided me from that day on. Finally, I'd found my fool-proof weapon. I was no longer helpless, I would no longer be humiliated.

I'd found my dark, cold place in the world.

I was all to young when I discovered just how cruel the world was, how unfair and merciless people were.

But this was all so long ago, right? How come I don't just go back to normal and move on with my life?

Some scars never fade.

-Jade


	2. Friends

**Friends**

You've probably guessed that I didn't have many friends. Besides the fact that not many kids _wanted _to be my friend, I had trouble trusting anyone. I believed (and still do) that they would all eventually end up turning their backs on me, as that had happend on one occasion. My only friend became my worst enemy. But this kid is no one important, so I won't go in to detail.

I did, however, meet one girl that I eventually learned to trust whole-heartedly. We officialy met in 3rd grade, when we first shared a classroom. Before then I'd seen her around at school, but we'd never spoken. To me, she was just another little devil in disguise. But on the first day of our third year, came over to where I was sitting (alone) and intruduced herself. She had this hyper-active personality and ever-lasting smile that made me sick to my stomach.

Her name was Cat.

I told her that was a stupid name and to leave me alone. She did, still with a smile on her face, yet she was noticeably dissapointed.

Later that day, at recess, I saw her again, this time from afar. I was sitting on a swing, observing the happy children as I spun my favorite pair of scissors on my finger, when saw her being cornered by a group of children. _The _group of children. The group that had decided it would be fun to make my life miserable were now pointing fingers and laughing at her just as they had me. That was when I realized that this Cat girl wasn't a little devil in disguise after all. She wasn't one of them. She was like me.

Cat saw me approach the group before the rest did, staring at me with pleading eyes. For the first itme in a long time, I actually felt bad for somebody. I scared the bullies away, and from that day on, me and Cat became friends.

After getting to know her better, I often asked myself why she was allowed in a normal classroom, as she often showed signs of being much less intellectually gifted then most kids. Untill she showed me her first report card of the year. All A's.

Most people think I hate Cat. Don't get me wrong, she drives me absolutely crazy sometimes, but she is one of the few people I DON'T hate. She was the only friend I had for a long time.

People like us need to stick together in the battle of life.

-Jade


	3. He Wasn't Scared of Me

**He Wasn't Scared of Me**

I've only ever met one person who wasn't scared of me in the slightest. Believe it or not, this made_ me_ scared of _him_. My only defense proved faulty. What would I do if people began to realize that my walls weren't as strong has they had first thought? I wouldn't have it. Every time the even came close to me, I would scream threats at him until he turned around and walked away. He probably thought I'd lost my mind.

Even so, he didn't give up. He tried to sit with me at lunch. He asked his new friends about me (he had just move here). Then one day, he came to my house. I still don't know how he found out where I lived. Probably had something to do with Cat.

I wanted to scream my head off at him the moment I saw him, but I couldn't very well do that with my Mom in the other room. He said hi, I asked him what he wanted, he said he wanted to talk. He told me he knew why I avoided him. He said he knew I was insecure. He said he knew I was scared.

What kind of a joke was this?

I told him I knew what he was doing. He asked me what that was. The truth was, I didn't know what he was doing. But whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Still, I had this longing to talk to him. To someone who understood. Someone who wasn't Cat.

So I let him in. Both into my house and into my little world in which I hid from the real world.

I knew I was being weak and that I'd probably just opened up the perfect opportunity for endless humiliation. I was telling my whole life story, every detail of it. The rational side of me kept telling me to shut up, but once I'd started, I couldn't stop. He didn't say a word the entire time. He just let me talk. At one point, I forgot he was even there. When I finished, he looked at me and said, "Wow". Then, after a moment of silence, he told me he wouldn't tell anyone anything he'd just heard. I scoffed. I knew he was lying.

That night, I cried my self to sleep.

The next day at school, everything was normal. Nobody was laughing at me. Nobody called me names. And all morning I'd been mentally preparing my self for the worst day of my life.

Beck sat next to me at lunch later that day, and I asked him why he didn't turn his back on me like I thought I knew he would, and he said he would never think of doing something so horrible.

After that, we hung out more often. Eventually he asked me out on an 'official' date. We kissed, he told me he loved me. I had never been happier.

I wouldn't give him up for the world.

-Jade


End file.
